The Dash by Linda Ellis

The Dash

By Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak


At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone


From the beginning to the end.


He noted that first came the date of her birth


And spoke of the following date with tears,


But he said what mattered most of all


Was the dash between those years.


For that dash represents all the time


That she spent alive on earth


And now only those who loved her


Know what that little line is worth.


For it matters not, how much we own,


The cars, the house, the cash,


What matters is how we live and love


And how we spend our dash.


So think about this long and hard;


Are there things you’d like to change?


For you never know how much time is left


That can still be rearranged.


If we could just slow down enough


To consider what’s true and real


And always try to understand


The way other people feel.


And be less quick to anger


And show appreciation more


And love the people in our lives


Like we’ve never loved before.


If we treat each other with respect


And more often wear a smile,


Remembering that this special dash


Might only last a little while.


So when your eulogy is being read


With your life’s actions to rehash


Would you be proud of the things they say


About how you spent your dash?

'Till 120!

Today's Hebrew date -- the 7th of Adar -- is Moshe's birthday and yahrtzeit (death date). Moshe, arguably the greatest leader of all time, lived 120 years and is the paradigm for the traditional Jewish birthday wish to live 'till 120! ("ad meah v'esrim!"). The Torah itself states that not only did Moshe live a long life, but his "eyes didn't dim, and his vigor did not diminish" (Devarim 34:7) and in Breishit 6:3 G-d Himself says that man won't be immortal, but that his years will be 120 -- the sign of a full, complete life.

Interestingly, people have always had an obsession with youth. From claiming to be 21 years old forever, to plastic surgeries, to anti-aging creams, to the legendary search for the fountain of youth, people have a fascination with the mystery of how to break nature's prescribed path of growing old.

But its rare to really appreciate the beauty that growing old entails.

In fact, the phrase itself speaks worlds: to grow old.

To live a static life is not much of a life. But to GROW old? Now that's pretty awesome.

A few weeks ago on Shabbos, I had the privelege of witnessing and being inspired by a man who knows the meaning of "growing old." Rabbi Sidney Keiman, the rabbi emeritus of Congregation Adereth El in Manhattan, turned 100 years old on January 27, 2013. The Shabbos before his birthday (parshat Beshalach) was understandably an incredible one for the entire community.  Rabbi Kleiman was called to the Torah for the aliyah that included Az Yashir -- the song of gratitude that the Jews sang when passing through the red sea on their way out of Egypt. Two congregants lifted R' Kleiman from his wheelchair and supported him on either side as he stood with an unnatural strength before the Torah for the entire aliyah. In respectful awe, the entire congregation stood right along with him.

 

I wish I could take a peek through the window of what Rabbi Kleiman has seen over the past century, but suffice it to say I doubt he could have ever predicted the iPhone 5. When he first arrived in his shul, there were still individuals there who were alive during the Civil War! He was there during the Great Depression when congregants would donate coal and clothing instead of money. Can you imagine someone who was not just alive during the Holocaust, but was a full fledged rabbi of an American shul in 1939, leading a congregation through those years of tragedy? And then to witness the complete turn around with the celebration that followed the establishment of the state of Israel!

100 years down the line, though wheelchair bound, R' Kleiman is still the first one in shul every single day. In fact, that's how he spent his 100th birthday -- going to shul like he does every other day. Perhaps the most beautiful part of his birthday shabbos was seeing R' Kleiman, still fully with it, give a brachah in a strong powerful voice to the crowd of children presenting him with his birthday card.

In his own words in an article about him:

( http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/interviews-and-profiles/rabbi-kleiman-still-the-first-one-in-shul/2012/01/19/ ):

"I'm not that big a man. My name is Kleiman, which means 'small man,' kleiner mann. I'm just happy to do what I do, and if people want to follow my example, so much better."

When we think about growing old, we tend to wonder: What's the secret? I want to share with you a short clip from the Ellen Degeneres show, featuring a 105 year old woman Edythe Kirchmaier. When asked the secret to living a long life, her focus was on positivity. In her words, "If something happens, I can't do anything about it. So I don't let it bother me."

Wishing us all a long meaningful life! Till 120!

Taking the Time to Breathe

In this week's parsha, Parshat Shemot, Jewish slavery in Egypt begins. Strangely enough, as the work load increases there's no mention of the Jews complaining under the hard labor or crying out to Hashem. That is... until the day of the King of Egypt's death. Well, doesn't that seem like a strange time to cry? If anything, wouldn't they be excited by the death of the very king who was enslaving them? Now that he's dead, they can have hope that a new king might lift the strict work regimen and bring new policies!
Some commentaries explain the sudden Jewish cries by saying exactly that -- that it was after the death of the old king, and thus at the start of the new king's reign that they started crying. They were crying because it turned out that the new king was just as harsh as the old one. Before the death of the old king, the Jews looked forward to a light at the end of the tunnel, but now that the old one died and the new one was just as bad, all hope was lost. Time to turn to Hashem.
But I actually want to focus on a different approach -- that of the Netziv (Rav Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, Rosh Yeshiva of Volozhin in the mid 1800's).
He strengthen's our original question by saying that the Jewish people especially shouldn't have been crying on the day of the king's death. This is because all of Egypt was mourning his death, and it was a day off for the entire country. In other words, the Jews wouldn't have been working on that day! So why in the world is their one day off from work the day when they suddenly started crying?!
The Netziv explains the situation with a profound idea.
You know that feeling of being so incredibly busy that you have no time to think, and then finally Shabbos arrives, you get to put your life on hold, and you can finally give yourself a chance to breathe?
Well that's essentially what happened to the Jews. They were worked so hard while the old Pharaoh gradually brought them into slavery, that they never had a real opportunity to pause and think about the seriousness of the situation they were in. It was only on the day that the Pharaoh died, when they weren't working, that they had time to reflect on their awful situation, recognize it's gravity, and call out to Hashem for help.
Let's reflect this story back to us.
We spend our whole lives running and running and running in circles with all the things we have to get done, but do we ever give ourselves a moment to breathe? To think? To add meaning to our day? To thank God for the gifts He's given us? We're so busy with the tasks that fill up our daily routine that we don't get to reflect on (hopefully) the AWESOMENESS of our lives!
What if the busy-ness of life is stopping us from doing something as crucial for our well-being as asking for Hashem's help was for the Jews enslaved in Egypt?
Before we get lost in our school work once again, let's finish up our winter vacations by taking a step out of our routine. Close your eyes, reflect on the greatness of life, and breathe!

The 30 Day Challenge

AAAHHH!!! Conclave's over?! Now what?!

How about this?

Do something small... for just 30 days. You'll be surprised to see it's all you need to go great places.

Here's a 3-minute video of a guy who knows how it's done.

"The next 30 days are going to pass whether you like it or not, so why not think about something you have always wanted to try and give it a shot for the next 30 days?” (Matt Cutts)

Time

As 2012 comes to a close, I've been thinking a lot about my own perception of time. We often find ourselves saying "there should be more than 24 hours in a day" or "that seems like forever" or "where did the time go?" We often question how quickly or slowly time passes.

2012 has been a year of public highs and lows, which have been mirrored by personal highs and lows for many. In particular, in the last few days of 2012, I often find myself thinking about the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting and other tragic events that have happened.

In only seconds, one person, one young adult, changed the lives of millions. He directly affected every person in the school and every person in Newtown. He indirectly affected every school administrator, every teacher, every policeman, every parent, every child, nearly everyone who heard the news of the shooting. In only seconds, so much damage was done.

Can you think of the last time that that much GOOD was infused into the world?

Tragedies are blatantly tangible and breathtakingly terrifying; goodness is harder to see: it is women into the fabric of every day interactions, of subtle smiles shared between people, of seemingly minute conversations, of family functions, of outbursts of laughter, of simple moments.
Although I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with how scary with this world can be, I am then overwhelmed by just how beautiful this world can be; each and every one of us can help tip the balance far more to the "good" side.



How much good will you add to the balance today, this hour, this minute? How can you make the most of the time Gd gave us?